its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
