It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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