The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
