Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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