I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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