girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
