remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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