I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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