Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize