I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
