well you can't waste a boner
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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