the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
