Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
