You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
