Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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