At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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