Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
