oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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