I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
