I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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