I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
