T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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