Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
