can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex