your parents love me but you hate me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
