Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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(845): View more from New York

I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.

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(716): View more from New York

Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(661): View more from California

Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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(541): View more from Oregon

Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

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(416): View more from Toronto

feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.

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