I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
