It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
