some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize