My hand turned me down
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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