I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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