Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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