When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
