Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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