you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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