Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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