Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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