she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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