It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
