you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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