I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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