a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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