i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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