im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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