Moan for me like Helen Keller
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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