Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize