New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
