Whod you bang
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
