Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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