you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
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Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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