So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This house was built for laser tag.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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