He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
