I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
