Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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