Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
