i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
