it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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