I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
